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SHE’S DIFFERENT
Text and photos by Adam Lach

Marina Till, a transsexual, has had numerous medical examinations and treatments, such as a very intense hormonal therapy, at times seriously weakening her organism. For a long time she has been dreaming about a sex change surgery but she can not afford it. She does not accept herself and her body. Suicide attempts and alcohol abuse are means of escape from the body she lives in. A body that does not belong to her. She said, “Once I swallowed a large amount of pills and they simply went right through my body. Sitting on the toilet I could hear them hitting its basin. It was then, I realized, that if it was so hard to kill oneself, then what would it take to change one’s gender?”

I spent a few long weeks with Marina. I wondered how she coped with her difficult life-role. Her being suspended between mental existence as a woman and the masculine form of her physical being was for me a very important element of the transformation. I focused on the relation between herself and her body and was able to observe the existing antagonism, a proof of what she has yet to go through. After a sex change surgery she will legally, psychologically and physically become a woman and forget the fact, that once she was a man.
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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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Photo: Adam Lach/Napo Images

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She does not accept herself and her body.

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Produced by Walter Conley.

All rights reserved by Adam Lach/Napo Images. Do not use without express written permission. This story first appeared at NAPO IMAGES. Thanks to Adam for graciously allowing me to reprint it here at disenthralled.

Adam Lach can be contacted at lach@naopimages.com.

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10 Comments

  1. A wonderful piece of work.

  2. More than the text, I think the images really tell the story of the turmoil and emotional toll.

    I’m surprised that the construction of the breasts couldn’t be done more cleanly, part of the process for many who go through it is a strong desire to look natural. I hope she heals well and ultimately feels good about her body at last. I think the pain of this can be hard for others to understand and must be isolating.

    I’m glad you posted this, Walt.

  3. Fascinating photo story. Compelling and intense.

    I’m not sure this brings anyone closer to undertanding Marina, but it sure creates a thick layer of empathy.

  4. Oh, Walter!! I sighed in happiness here.

    I am sending this link to my friend in England, who has a child in this position.

    Thank you.

  5. I am blown away – simply superb

  6. This is poignant and powerful. The photos are so emotional and compelling.

  7. Very happy to see this posted. Understanding fosters acceptance.

  8. The intimacy of these photographs is moving. I hope she can find the money to have the operation soon and begin loving herself.

  9. The photographs are haunting. She’s beautiful. I hope she makes peace with herself. If she’s on Twitter, she should follow Kate Bornstein. Wonderful advocate for TG people. She gets the suicide aspect too.

  10. My heart was torn to pieces by this. I pray all works out for her!


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